My Everchanging Plot of Life

For the next few days, I need to be on my Best Behaviour.

The inevitable reaction of Worst Behaviour will kick in from Tuesday, but hopefully, won't last long.

Friday is likely to induce relatively good behaviour for most of the day, until the journey home.

Saturday.... well, it's not looking good!

What is this strange phenomenon? I don’t have any piles of papers else where to be dealt with, the folders are all away in their correct places, there are no “To Do” Lists lurking. Well, I do, but they are next week’s “to do” lists and not at all relevant to today.

It could be that I’ve been thinking, and in the midst of the thinking have just got on with getting things tidied away!

Or that it was all a preferable option to a Saturday afternoon supermarket trip… I will go soon, but I want to do this before I lose the thread of what I’ve been thinking about.

I have been thinking about how bored I am with life in general, though, and what to do about it. I could and do create loads of small projects for myself to be busy with, and it all looks very good. I’m well aware when I have to do my annual conversation with the person I have to report back to about life I can make it all sound right. After nearly a year here, it’s all looking great and sounding quite impressive.

But, there is an underlying malaise that I’ve not been able to shake off for months and months now, and it’s not getting any better. It feels like I’ve gone back to being the 7 year old who was perpetually complaining of being bored…and learnt not to because all that happened was an exasperated “Well, find something to do!!” I’ve found plenty to do… I’m still bored. I also feel like I’m acting like one of the bright kids in the class who drives the teacher demented because they are doing just enough to get by, and not what they are capable of achieving. Thereby getting into a significant amount of mischief to allay the boredom.

It’s been bothering me that I can no longer identify what it is I should be achieving, and I’m no longer content to see what life turns up with…. It’s been bothering me that I’m recycling everything about my life…absolutely everything is a repeat of what I’ve done elsewhere. I’m doing nothing new and challenging and haven’t for months now.

Hmmmm… better go and do the shopping, or I will be challenged by what happens when dinner doesn’t appear on the table…

Back later.