An official batch of papers arrived this morning. It included questions to think about and yet another long drawn out timetable for a particular process.

I am not inspired.

I am so not inspired.

I have the serious brain ache.

I know I don’t react well to these kinds of “Review” processes. I don’t do dreams and visions, I have good reason not to. I think this will be the end of the line for the one dream I’ve held onto for a long time now. Realistically, it’s just not possible.

I really don’t react well to being told everyone’s thoughts and ideas are valued and need to be voiced. It’s not been my experience in this kind of process in this setting before now. I dared to say what I was really thinking in the last official conversation I had to partake in, and was blasted from here to eternity, and left feeling a complete failure. Again.

I know this process has to happen, I know things can’t go on as they are. I just don't have the energy or enthusiasm for it.

Like I said, I’ve got the serious brain ache.