My Everchanging Plot of Life

I have now successfully downloaded Firefox, and will be reverting to it as my default browser.

My computer did not crash and die in the process this time.

I seem to still remember my way around, despite a six month break.

the report on the day's multi-tasking.

I have got the data entries up to date in the accounts. Enough to make the bank reconciliation easy to do when the statement arrives in the week.

I have cleaned the kitchen surfaces, floor and the fridge.

I've cleaned both bathroom floors and the bath. The shower I will not do as I never use it.

I've hoovered right through the house.

I've begun sorting through stuff in my room and created some space on my book shelves.

I've read someone's sermon for tomorrow (I won't be at her church, but she wanted someone to check it, as she only preaches occasionally. Even more occasionally than me!)

Now, all that's left to do are March's birthday cards, and a sympathy card that's proving remarkably difficult. Oh, and some sewing.... that'll be a post in it's own right. I hate sewing more than I hate ironing, but not quite as much as I hate gardening.

In between keeping an eye on the Bloscars last night, which was most entertaining) I was writing Deep and Meaningful stuff for friends with horribly difficult situations in their lives. Nothing like a varied life here on the Plot.

My male siblings have provided me with a huge wealth of experience in dealing with the kind of stuff families all hope they'll never have to deal with over the years. I seriously doubt that was their intention! In fact, they'd be furious about me seeing it that way. But, in between the ups and downs of their lives, and in one case, death, it's really been lots of steep learning curves.

Then, when I had a moment to breath in between all those excitements, I found myself trying to sort out the various messes other people have made of my coming few days.

I finally remembered I'd not eaten my day off cake at a time far too late for me to eat and not get indigestion at 3 in the morning. It was a sad, sad day when I realised I could no longer eat too late in the evening and not pay for it.

Today is a domestic multi-tasking day! Floors, bathrooms, kitchen surfaces, laundry, and accounts. Floors never get done in my absence. Neither do bathrooms. And as far as I can ascertain, only the oven and cooker top are cleaned by someone other than me. Which, considering the rest of the household is very shopaholic about new items for making cleaning easier or better, (none of which I use... which it's only taken, oh, two years to cotton on to!)and paranoid about teatowels being boil washed and ironed, and won't let me do them because I don't do them "properly", is all very odd.

I will be reporting back!

In the long list of blogs I have in my Favourites sidebar, there is usually a little icon thingummy to the left of the blog name.

In my BCUK list of delightful people, the only two who haven't lost their icon thingummy are Rampage and Rowtheboat.

None of the other blogs of a non-BCUK variety are minus their icons.

It looks a strange list at the moment....

"You've got your giggle back!" remarked friend of many years standing. "I was beginning to think it had got well and truly lost."

Not actually lost, but gone for a very long walk to recover, I think. However, I know what he means. I'd been avoiding lots of those who know my giggle all too well, because whilst to the casual observer there has been nothing wrong, to the observant, there has been.

But, with the processing of a good deal of information, I have come to the conclusion it really all is going to be OK, and an essential me that I thought had got lost about four years ago, is definitely coming back. Bit older, bit clearer about some things - a lot hazier about others. Bit more ready to accept that what looks like failure maybe isn't after all. A lot happier that things are changing.

It's felt like I've done a huge mental shredding of a whole heap of rubbish.

has been skipping. Or rather, been one of the bossy whatsits turning the rope (or even ropes, come to think of it) for the ten year olds who couldn't organise themselves to take turns! For a whole half an hour. Arms and voice are very tired.

Exhausted of the Plot has also been trying to decide if pro-active is going to be the best course of action on several fronts. A long e-mail writing session is ahead.

Exhausted of the Plot is also fuming at the lack of ability on the part of numerous supposedly mature grown-ups who really ought to be able to communicate one simple fact. The fact they have failed has now thrown next week into needless complete and utter chaos.

Moreover, how did the delightful five year old I once knew turn into a wonderful, intuitive and sensible twenty six year, with more sense than me. More to the point, how did her equally wonderful sibling, who I first met when her mother was pregnant with her, turn twenty one this week?

I really, really need a lie down now.

There's an awful lot of it.

No e-mails, no messages, no texts, one piece of post.

I'll see what tomorrow brings, but I may have to go and do some asking about!

I had a good few days away, though. I've watched an awful lot of repeats on ITV3 and several films. I've read about fifteen books, just for the pleasure of it.

I've had no internet access, by choice.

I had a very long drive one day, just because I could.

I had a day in a Very Large Out of Town Shopping Place, which I've driven past many times, but never stopped at.

I thought I might have a strange time, but I was remarkably OK, and kept gently busy with things I liked doing. In fact, the strangeness only started once I returned....

I only go away for a week, and it's taking forever to catch up.

I need another weeks sleep to recover from all the reading,and re-decorating, and zzzz....

This is unusual for this week. The downside of all this going to bed early is that I've been awake at anti-social hours of the night.

And this evening, after my gallivanting all over the county, and a brief sojourn into the neighbouring county, making full use of the area day ticket I had, I dozed off in front of the laptop, as I was contemplating my next Scrabble move. Good job it wasn't a game where someone was going to yell at me I was taking too long to make my turn.

Now, I wonder if I can do the next task that normally takes much psyching up, much blogging about, much sighing over, and could have it done in the time I take to grumble about it. It mean I could then go to bed properly, as the clothes will have been re-distributed either to the rucksack, or their proper homes.

And - am I going to take the laptop away with me?

Decisions, decisions.

I went for a hair cut without making any fuss, without blogging about it for days beforehand, without having to psyche myself up, without the hairdresser trying to talk me into something I didn't want, and without me having to explain why I didn't want my hair washed beforehand, (bad scalp reaction to a lot of shampoos)..

This is probably the first time this has happened for years!

I can't guarantee it will happen again soon...

I seem to be heading towards a state of Not Well again. I came home from work early, attended to my cat-feeding duties (temporarily until the weekend only), attended to a load of laundry, and otherwise have been slumped in a heap.

I tried fending it off with a proper cooked breakfast. I was only going to have a cup of coffee and toast, but I was Led Astray by the lovely, lovely lady in the cafe who remembers who I am, and my bizarre choice of breakfast on the occasions I decide I need proper food after the long bus journey and before attending to the needs of those I'm responsible for.

"Oh, it's so nice to see you, we've got some veggie sausages for you to try." How could I refuse? Especially after the long conversation we'd had about the merits of various kinds of vegetarian sausages last time I was there.

I gave up the unequal struggle once I realised it was taking three times as long as usual to do anything, and when I walked into the place where I do some of the work, and was greeted with "Are you feeling alright?".

So, home I trudged. To dose myself up, and hopefully sleep it all off a bit.

I'm now faced with several interesting e-mails to answer! They're all dodging the question they really want to ask, and they're all going to have to wait to find out the answer. I knew going away next week was definitely the best plan.

It being the season of Six Nations, and also bitterly cold, I have pulled my two rugby shirts out of their hiding place, as they are excellently cosy under some official clothes in this cold weather, especially when I'm spending half the morning in a freezing cold church playing the organ and singing at a funeral. It went very nicely, thank you! I was the accompanist for the soloist, as it was something we've done together before and didn't need rehearsing, and in the choir for the rest of it. The proper organist played for the rest of the service. (I'm not an improper organist! Don't be cheeky!)

Now, being of a small and rotund variety of person, they normally fit me relatively snugly. Not too tight, but not a lot of room to spare.

But, lo, they were positively loose today. More to the point, I'm now fitting into a couple of pairs of jeans I've not worn regularly for some years. Belts have had to be purchased for other pairs of jeans. Knickers that are on the older side are also now on the "too loose to stay up unless under trousers" side.... sorry, is this Too Much Information?

I'd been accusing our scales of telling me fibs. I'd been accusing my knicker elastic of being weak and feeble, and giving up before it's time. I'd been aware of a longer skirt being longer, and was accusing myself of clumsiness as I walked up the inside of it going up the stairs the other day.

But, the evidence is mounting up. Somehow, relatively steadily over the last three months or so, I seem to have lost two stone, without any effort. No, I don't really know, as I'm still eating much that I was eating before. I think the main two differences are, I'm not eating unless I'm hungry, and life is maybe just a wee teeny bit more stressful than I'd been admitting to myself. I have been known to lose my appetite when it's All Too Much. Rare, but it happens.

Now if the rest of it.... well, I won't say how much, but there is more to go... could decide to go as painlessly, I'd be very content with that.

I'm having an interesting time with a number of friends recently.

Right now, I'm in the middle of a major dilemma involving several of them. And it's a long, long story.

Back in the mists of time, there was a gang of us who supported each other through perilous times. But, in recently years that has, for good reason, all changed.

One has gone out of my life completely. Another, well, lots has changed for us both, we're no longer in almost weekly contact, it's more like three/four times a year, but we retain a level of friendship that works for where we are now. We no longer use the other as a sounding board, other people do that now, but we do keep the other up to date with the facts of our lives, and enjoy the rare occasions we can meet up. It's realistic.

The biggest dilemma is over the third. There are several difficulties. Today, I found myself with a new friends request on Facebook, and for the first time ever, so much not wanting to accept it. But, reluctant just to ignore it.

My experience in recent times is of contact only being made when something is required of me, or of mutual friends, (of which we have quite a number, not just on Facebook) and not out of genuine friendship. I spent some years sending friendly e-mails which were just ignored, and phoning occasionally, to try and maintain the friendship through what was a difficult period of time for that person. I eventually gave up in sheer frustration.

Things won't ever go back to the way they once were. I neither want nor need them to anymore, and I have other friends who have more than filled the gaps this lot left when they all opted out of my life on a regular basis some years ago. I've moved on, so have they.... and I am moving even further on. When it comes down to it, I actually don't want this person in my space anymore, either virtually or literally.

I think I've answered myself!

and it's very unreasonable to be awake so early on a day off day.

Pah.

Actually, for once, I'm having tomorrow as a day off day instead, really. Just between you and me! But, as the Rest of the Household copes badly with such changes, (unless it's to her advantage, which this probably isn't) I'm sticking with looking as if I'm having a day off today, and going out more or less as usual, but to one of my working places instead, to do a few things that need doing. Then, to do some shopping, as my "emergency" supplies are low...

But, I'm definitely not stopping out long, and will be returning to warm, and cosy corner as soon as I can.

The extension leads I borrowed from myself!

The books I've borrowed form several sources.

The mugs that, um, linger on my desk or my radiator. (My armchair's by the radiator, a rolled up towel makes a great mini shelf for a mug of coffee, and it keeps it warmer longer.)

The bags and rucksacks that had the gubbins needed for the weekend in them.

My shoogled up emotions.

The mid-term plan. Which has just come together.

Now, the next place is my nice, cosy, snuggly bed!

...the pile of clean laundry that's moved from chair to bed and back again at least three times.

...the five bags of gubbins that need unpacking and redistributing after last night's extravaganza.

...the aching finger I've just strapped up again after yesterday's organ and piano playing marathon. It's OK, but I'm not risking it getting any achier.

...the phone calls I need to make and e-mails I need to write.

...the correct replacing of all my extension leads, which I'd borrowed from my self for last night's extravaganza. Though, as a safety issue, I really ought to do so today.

...the accounts and resorting of money from one pile to another! Eek.

...facing up to a task I've neglected for a while.

I ought to think about where to go for a few days holiday over half term week as well. It's a tricky one. For several complex reasons, I need to go away that week. I need to be careful where I go - it's a small world I inhabit, and several bits of it over-lap in an alarming way at times.

But - I'm going to remove the laundry from the bed, put it back on the chair, and go back to bed for a bit first.